Okay I need to figure out what I am doing this evening. Its a Tuesday night here in Mount Pleasant which summers past would mean an automatic trip to O'kellys for the evening where many adult beverages would be consumed and then the potential for a dance off at the wayside. Speaking of the Wayside, I have been on the fence about this for a while, but upon consulting with friends I have come to the realization that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE should I allowed to enter that place unless a) it is a tuesday night (21+ only) or b) it is for Oldies. The wayside is nuthing more than a dark dirty place where you have a better chance of catching an STD than you would swimming in Magic Johnson's blood.
Anyways, so tonight would normally be a O'kellys night. I mean $1 beers theres NBA playoff basketball, how can you go wrong? As much as I would love to just go out and get sha-wasted and stumble home, that is not what I need right now. I need something with more substance.
I need a girlfriend, and those out there that know me will agree. But the problem with this is you cant just go up to Wal-Mart and find one you like and take her home (I wish it was that easy). The problem is that I have no confidence in asking a girl out. I may invite her to come to a party I may invite her to the bar, but to ask a girl "Hey I was wondering if you would want to grab dinner or a movie sometime" is like kryptonite.
Now am I afraid that someone may read this, no I want people to read this. This is probably the best way that anyone can truly get a insight into who I am. I act like I have not a care in the world, I will talk to you like I have know you for years, I will make fun of you, tease you, make fun of myself , even embarass myself but that is all my act. I dont want people to know that I'm lonely, that I can be an emotional wreck at times. Just hide it all behind a smile.
Anyways back to tonight... Do I know what I want to do yes, I would love to just go home from work eat a quick dinner and then just hang out with someone super special, it could be doing something... anything.. I'm just getting tired of always faking it
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